These are turtles. Snapping turtles.
Snapping. What a noise they make. See them? Hear them?
I see them every morning. I hear their beaky mouths snap snap.
There are hundreds. Maybe thousands of snapping turtles.
A lot of people agree with me. A lot. I’m not saying just a few…
Not one person, not two… A lot.
They are swans you say? Geese? No… they are definitely snapping turtles.
I know because people tell me this all the time.
“There are snapping turtles in Sheldon Lake.”
You don’t see them?
What… you don’t like turtles?
You un-American or something? The native Americans knew…
Ask the Iroquois. Seriously. Turtles. The whole danged earth is a turtle.
Am I making this up? No. I have it on the authority of many people.
People I know and love. People who really like me.
You can’t find any reference to the snapping turtles of Sheldon Lake?
Then what are all these people talking about? Huh?
They’re snapping turtles, folks.
Believe me on this. Believe me.